Rule One: Plan What to Eat
Today I want to talk about #1.
Planning ahead seems to be an aversion to many people. When we plan ahead, we’re accused of being “anal retentive” “control freaks” and “OCD”. “People who plan ahead lack spontaneity”.
WHAT?!?!?
When others belittle you for having a plan, it is because THEY have less input as to their control over you. It is threatening.
And let’s be perfectly honest. ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOUR PLAN. ONLY YOU PUT THE FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH. It is not up to your spouse, your children, your coworkers or your friends to decide what you will and will not put in your mouth. THAT IS YOUR DECISION ALONE.
So if you have uncertain lunch or dinner plans because of going to a restaurant, MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS TO FIND OUT WHAT IS ON THE MENU. Do research ahead of time. You think that you’re never going to go out? Going out to dinner on the weekends or special occasions is a surprise? I didn’t think so.
DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!
How about traveling? Kids sports events? HAVE YOU HEARD OF THESE THINGS CALLED COOLERS? PACK YOUR FOOD!
It’s not hard. It’s what we have to do.
When we plan ahead, we empower ourselves to care for our bodies. Why would you give that power to someone who doesn’t care about your pancreas or liver or arthritic joints?
What kind of feedback do you have about this? How do you look at planning ahead? Do you think I’m being Mrs. Crankypants? Or do you have something more to add?
Let’s talk about #1 today!
What is your plan?
Planning ahead seems to be an aversion to many people. When we plan ahead, we’re accused of being “anal retentive” “control freaks” and “OCD”. “People who plan ahead lack spontaneity”.
WHAT?!?!?
When others belittle you for having a plan, it is because THEY have less input as to their control over you. It is threatening.
And let’s be perfectly honest. ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOUR PLAN. ONLY YOU PUT THE FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH. It is not up to your spouse, your children, your coworkers or your friends to decide what you will and will not put in your mouth. THAT IS YOUR DECISION ALONE.
So if you have uncertain lunch or dinner plans because of going to a restaurant, MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS TO FIND OUT WHAT IS ON THE MENU. Do research ahead of time. You think that you’re never going to go out? Going out to dinner on the weekends or special occasions is a surprise? I didn’t think so.
DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!
How about traveling? Kids sports events? HAVE YOU HEARD OF THESE THINGS CALLED COOLERS? PACK YOUR FOOD!
It’s not hard. It’s what we have to do.
When we plan ahead, we empower ourselves to care for our bodies. Why would you give that power to someone who doesn’t care about your pancreas or liver or arthritic joints?
What kind of feedback do you have about this? How do you look at planning ahead? Do you think I’m being Mrs. Crankypants? Or do you have something more to add?
Let’s talk about #1 today!
What is your plan?
Rule Two: Follow Your Plan
Today I want to talk about #2.
No, not THAT #2!! LOL!!
You’ve made your plan. Now what? You mean we want to you to actually follow it?
TRUST YOURSELF! TRUST YOUR PLAN! In the scheme of things, you’ve submitted your plan and gotten feedback, or you know how to plan.
It’s in place.
NO GOING BACK. NO NEGOTIATING. FOLLOW YOUR PLAN.
RATIONALIZATION is for the addict or the enabler. Do not second guess yourself. Don’t allow SOMEONE ELSE to dissuade you from the healthy choices that you are making for your body. You have a plan! You don’t need no stinkin’ bagel out of the breakroom. Or that extra cream in your coffee. Or that slice of pizza. Really.
You have a plan. With an emergency piece of fruit at the end of the day. And you’ll be eating so frequently that YOU WON’T EXPERIENCE REAL HUNGER.
Why would you deviate from your plan? There’s no reason. Even when we forget our food suitcase, many of us have learned to have a backup plan. Or sometimes we just have to forgo a meal. That’s ok from time to time. But when food is as important to you as it is to me, you’ll have a backup plan. (I keep a box of bocas and some green beans at work. Just in case.)
And, if you find yourself NOT following your plan, WHY NOT?
If you don’t follow your plan very often, is it because you don’t like the food? Well then, plan more appealing food!
So tell us, why do you follow or not follow your plan?
No, not THAT #2!! LOL!!
You’ve made your plan. Now what? You mean we want to you to actually follow it?
TRUST YOURSELF! TRUST YOUR PLAN! In the scheme of things, you’ve submitted your plan and gotten feedback, or you know how to plan.
It’s in place.
NO GOING BACK. NO NEGOTIATING. FOLLOW YOUR PLAN.
RATIONALIZATION is for the addict or the enabler. Do not second guess yourself. Don’t allow SOMEONE ELSE to dissuade you from the healthy choices that you are making for your body. You have a plan! You don’t need no stinkin’ bagel out of the breakroom. Or that extra cream in your coffee. Or that slice of pizza. Really.
You have a plan. With an emergency piece of fruit at the end of the day. And you’ll be eating so frequently that YOU WON’T EXPERIENCE REAL HUNGER.
Why would you deviate from your plan? There’s no reason. Even when we forget our food suitcase, many of us have learned to have a backup plan. Or sometimes we just have to forgo a meal. That’s ok from time to time. But when food is as important to you as it is to me, you’ll have a backup plan. (I keep a box of bocas and some green beans at work. Just in case.)
And, if you find yourself NOT following your plan, WHY NOT?
If you don’t follow your plan very often, is it because you don’t like the food? Well then, plan more appealing food!
So tell us, why do you follow or not follow your plan?
Rule 3: Cut Off
Rule 3...Let’s talk cut-off.
This goes against what we are conditioned to do. We’ve been busy all day. Too busy to eat. So at night, we get home, we plop down on the couch in front of the magic light box, and all we want to do is hand-to-mouth. So when we start WW, our inclination is to save all our points for the evening. Big dinner. Followed by “Low point” snacks.
Followed by interrupted sleep. Digestive inertia. Fat storing. And not being hungry in the morning. Repeat. Stay the same.
There is plenty of SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH to back rule #3 up. Including articles on the WW website.
If you don’t believe me, GO FIND THEM!
The 3 hour (or more!) cut-off is SUPER hard! I have been doing the opposite my whole life! And to only eat produce in the evening? Well, produce is WAY easier to digest than a starch or a protein. It won’t have that negative impact on the sleep the way a lot of sugary, bready, or even protein-y things will.
Here’s a thought, GO TO BED! You couldn’t POSSIBLY be hungry after eating a whole day’s worth of awesome protein and produce! You are really just tired. So instead of sitting on the plump couch on your plump behind in front of the magic light box, go wash your face, brush, floss and rinse, and then hit the hay. If it’s early enough, you’ll have time and energy for some golf with DH.
Bonus. =)
This goes against what we are conditioned to do. We’ve been busy all day. Too busy to eat. So at night, we get home, we plop down on the couch in front of the magic light box, and all we want to do is hand-to-mouth. So when we start WW, our inclination is to save all our points for the evening. Big dinner. Followed by “Low point” snacks.
Followed by interrupted sleep. Digestive inertia. Fat storing. And not being hungry in the morning. Repeat. Stay the same.
There is plenty of SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH to back rule #3 up. Including articles on the WW website.
If you don’t believe me, GO FIND THEM!
The 3 hour (or more!) cut-off is SUPER hard! I have been doing the opposite my whole life! And to only eat produce in the evening? Well, produce is WAY easier to digest than a starch or a protein. It won’t have that negative impact on the sleep the way a lot of sugary, bready, or even protein-y things will.
Here’s a thought, GO TO BED! You couldn’t POSSIBLY be hungry after eating a whole day’s worth of awesome protein and produce! You are really just tired. So instead of sitting on the plump couch on your plump behind in front of the magic light box, go wash your face, brush, floss and rinse, and then hit the hay. If it’s early enough, you’ll have time and energy for some golf with DH.
Bonus. =)
Rule 4: Protein and Produce
So let’s talk about protein vs. carbs.
I will give a disclaimer. It is quite clear to me that I am carb-sensitive. If I eat simple carbs, I gain weight. And it sticks to me like glue. If I eat simple carbs, I am hungry (read: crashing) in a short while. Simple carbs are great for L.O.N.G. bike rides. Other than that, I don’t benefit from eating them.
Let’s do some math, shall we? Protein (4g or more) + Fiber = Satiety. That means long lasting feeling of satisfaction. No gnawing in the belly.
Not to mention that your body uses more effort (read: burns more calories) to digest the protein. Metabolism gets stoked (LITERALLY!), and you become a fat-burning machine.
So why balance protein with the complex carbs?
When you eat protein and fiber together, it is like giving the hungries a 1-2 punch. You feel fuller, longer!
What about limiting starches? Well, If simple carbs are sticking to you like glue, then WHY in the name of all that is holy would you put them in your body and then go lay down for 8 hours? That’s like saying to the cosmos, “I want to stay fat.” Really. Eat it earlier in the day when you are going to use it! Carbs are for the quick energy and quick thinking that you need to do. We need to use them up, otherwise they convert to fat.
I will give a disclaimer. It is quite clear to me that I am carb-sensitive. If I eat simple carbs, I gain weight. And it sticks to me like glue. If I eat simple carbs, I am hungry (read: crashing) in a short while. Simple carbs are great for L.O.N.G. bike rides. Other than that, I don’t benefit from eating them.
Let’s do some math, shall we? Protein (4g or more) + Fiber = Satiety. That means long lasting feeling of satisfaction. No gnawing in the belly.
Not to mention that your body uses more effort (read: burns more calories) to digest the protein. Metabolism gets stoked (LITERALLY!), and you become a fat-burning machine.
So why balance protein with the complex carbs?
When you eat protein and fiber together, it is like giving the hungries a 1-2 punch. You feel fuller, longer!
What about limiting starches? Well, If simple carbs are sticking to you like glue, then WHY in the name of all that is holy would you put them in your body and then go lay down for 8 hours? That’s like saying to the cosmos, “I want to stay fat.” Really. Eat it earlier in the day when you are going to use it! Carbs are for the quick energy and quick thinking that you need to do. We need to use them up, otherwise they convert to fat.
Rule 5: No Weeklies or Activity Points
When exercising hard enough to actually need to eat extra points/calories, you would most likely be training for something. Like a marathon. Or triathlon. And you won’t lose weight. You may gain a few pounds (muscle) or maintain. You need to eat while preparing for a big event like that. We’re not talking about that situation.
But in the everyday course of things, what would constitute an hour of tough cardio would be a six mile run, a 20+ mile bike ride, an hour of spin or zumba, an hour of shoveling snow, bootcamp, vigorous skiing, stuff like that.
Things that don’t qualify here are: housework, yardwork, recreational biking, recreational dancing, recreational horseback riding (just because Peach gives me a workout, doesn’t mean that I get to eat more than the apple that I share with her afterward! LOL!! – and no, I take a few bites and give the rest to her – we don’t take turns. EW!), a long dog walk, floating in your canoe on the lake and making your DH do all the work (again, talking about myself here! LOL!), and so on.
For me, even my 3 mile runs don’t give me leeway for extra food. It’s not enough exercise. I don’t even burn 300 calories! So think about this…how many calories are you REALLY burning in your activity?
We eat so frequently during the day, that I can plan my meals/snacks around my workouts. That way I’m NOT eating what I just melted off, but am timing it strategically to get the most benefit for my body.
Seriously. This totally works.
But in the everyday course of things, what would constitute an hour of tough cardio would be a six mile run, a 20+ mile bike ride, an hour of spin or zumba, an hour of shoveling snow, bootcamp, vigorous skiing, stuff like that.
Things that don’t qualify here are: housework, yardwork, recreational biking, recreational dancing, recreational horseback riding (just because Peach gives me a workout, doesn’t mean that I get to eat more than the apple that I share with her afterward! LOL!! – and no, I take a few bites and give the rest to her – we don’t take turns. EW!), a long dog walk, floating in your canoe on the lake and making your DH do all the work (again, talking about myself here! LOL!), and so on.
For me, even my 3 mile runs don’t give me leeway for extra food. It’s not enough exercise. I don’t even burn 300 calories! So think about this…how many calories are you REALLY burning in your activity?
We eat so frequently during the day, that I can plan my meals/snacks around my workouts. That way I’m NOT eating what I just melted off, but am timing it strategically to get the most benefit for my body.
Seriously. This totally works.
Rule 6: Post Every Day
This one is small, but SO beneficial on so many levels.
Posting daily may SEEM like no big deal, but it is very telling as to your mindset concerning respect, commitment, and your investment.
Posting daily indicates commitment to the process. You don’t get results from dropping in and out. People have shown us time and time again that when they are here, they are here. And when they are not, they most definitely are NOT.
If you want results, you are here – day after day, week after week. You may not get everything right all the time, but you are here. You are planning. You are working at it.
I don’t often get to meetings. This thread is where I come on a daily basis to be accountable. I have a plan. You demand to know about it. I got on the scale. You want to know about that, too. (That is the most telling way to know if I followed my plan!)
Having something expected of me gives me the freedom to stop negotiating with myself about what else I can eat. Putting it in writing makes it more concrete.
When we post daily, we are also showing the others in our virtual “community” that we RESPECT them. We respect their commitment to themselves, and we VALUE their commitment to us.
A lot of people come on this thread wanting our results. But they are not willing to COMMIT. And they move on.
There is no such thing as a free lunch.
We’re not asking for pages of personals. We’re asking for your PLAN. And that you post it DAILY!
Posting daily may SEEM like no big deal, but it is very telling as to your mindset concerning respect, commitment, and your investment.
Posting daily indicates commitment to the process. You don’t get results from dropping in and out. People have shown us time and time again that when they are here, they are here. And when they are not, they most definitely are NOT.
If you want results, you are here – day after day, week after week. You may not get everything right all the time, but you are here. You are planning. You are working at it.
I don’t often get to meetings. This thread is where I come on a daily basis to be accountable. I have a plan. You demand to know about it. I got on the scale. You want to know about that, too. (That is the most telling way to know if I followed my plan!)
Having something expected of me gives me the freedom to stop negotiating with myself about what else I can eat. Putting it in writing makes it more concrete.
When we post daily, we are also showing the others in our virtual “community” that we RESPECT them. We respect their commitment to themselves, and we VALUE their commitment to us.
A lot of people come on this thread wanting our results. But they are not willing to COMMIT. And they move on.
There is no such thing as a free lunch.
We’re not asking for pages of personals. We’re asking for your PLAN. And that you post it DAILY!
Rule 7: Rest When You're Tired or Stressed
Ignoring this rule is the downfall of every person on this thread. On the planet, even!
Every person who is thoughtfully working the program has succumbed to poor food choices because they were tired.
That is why we need to learn to RECOGNIZE “tired” for what it is. And what it isn’t. IT IS NOT “HUNGRY”! Hungry is hungry. And tired is tired. And stressed is stressed.
Food does not solve tired or stressed. In fact, food often makes “tired and stressed” worse.
What should you do when you’re tired? How about go to bed?
What if you can’t go to bed because of…(fill in the blank here)? Then have some caffeine!
“Wait!” you say. “I can’t possibly have caffeine this late! It will disrupt my sleep!”
You don’t think eating the entire contents of your pantry/fridge/freezer won’t disrupt your sleep? Think again.
Drink some coffee. Get up and splash some water on your face. Walk around for a minute or two.
The best advice is still GO TO BED!!! Nothing good ever came from having “just one taste” after dinner. You know it’s true.
Every person who is thoughtfully working the program has succumbed to poor food choices because they were tired.
That is why we need to learn to RECOGNIZE “tired” for what it is. And what it isn’t. IT IS NOT “HUNGRY”! Hungry is hungry. And tired is tired. And stressed is stressed.
Food does not solve tired or stressed. In fact, food often makes “tired and stressed” worse.
What should you do when you’re tired? How about go to bed?
What if you can’t go to bed because of…(fill in the blank here)? Then have some caffeine!
“Wait!” you say. “I can’t possibly have caffeine this late! It will disrupt my sleep!”
You don’t think eating the entire contents of your pantry/fridge/freezer won’t disrupt your sleep? Think again.
Drink some coffee. Get up and splash some water on your face. Walk around for a minute or two.
The best advice is still GO TO BED!!! Nothing good ever came from having “just one taste” after dinner. You know it’s true.
Rule 8: No Whining.
I love-and conversely hate-this rule. ;-)
You are here voluntarily. If you want to tweak the rules, you can go elsewhere. We don’t negotiate.
Do it and zip your lip.
All of us have different life circumstances. All of us are challenged. All of us have opportunities to succeed. The person who is successful doesn’t look for a way out. They look for a way to win.
When we fail, it is because we CHOOSE to fail. It Is no one’s fault but our own. So don’t blame your co-workers, your family, or your waitress. They are not force feeding you.
YOU put the food in your mouth. YOU are the one responsible.
You know it. And so do we. Because we have told ourselves the same lies. That is why we recognize them so quickly when they flow from your fingers. When we rationalize and make excuses for ourselves, we are just perpetuating the mindset that got us fat in the first place.
You can’t kid a kidder.
So don’t even bother.
You are here voluntarily. If you want to tweak the rules, you can go elsewhere. We don’t negotiate.
Do it and zip your lip.
All of us have different life circumstances. All of us are challenged. All of us have opportunities to succeed. The person who is successful doesn’t look for a way out. They look for a way to win.
When we fail, it is because we CHOOSE to fail. It Is no one’s fault but our own. So don’t blame your co-workers, your family, or your waitress. They are not force feeding you.
YOU put the food in your mouth. YOU are the one responsible.
You know it. And so do we. Because we have told ourselves the same lies. That is why we recognize them so quickly when they flow from your fingers. When we rationalize and make excuses for ourselves, we are just perpetuating the mindset that got us fat in the first place.
You can’t kid a kidder.
So don’t even bother.
Rule 9: Be Honest With Others & Accept Honesty From Others
FESS UP WHEN YOU MESS UP. (Thanks for that one, Tina!)
If you are not honest about what you are REALLY eating, how can you expect to get any helpful feedback?
And if you are DEFENSIVE about what others have to say to you, how can you expect to get any helpful feedback?
We are not here to belittle anyone. But we don’t put up with nonsense, either.
Also, within the context of honesty, it does not mean to relive the experience bite‐for‐bite. When I want food p0 rn, I’ll watch the food network, thanks.
We are here because we have “issues” with food. We don’t need to have the prurient interest served in this regard. Many of us can’t take it!
Honesty is essential for success. We first learn honesty by being accountable to one another. And getting some ugly feedback sometimes.
Get over it.
It’s not personal. And if it helps you rethink your choices, or even realize that YOU HAVE A CHOICE, then it’s a good thing!
Ultimately, what it comes down to is this: if you are not honest about what’s REALLY going in your mouth, the scale will be honest.
If you are not honest about what you are REALLY eating, how can you expect to get any helpful feedback?
And if you are DEFENSIVE about what others have to say to you, how can you expect to get any helpful feedback?
We are not here to belittle anyone. But we don’t put up with nonsense, either.
Also, within the context of honesty, it does not mean to relive the experience bite‐for‐bite. When I want food p0 rn, I’ll watch the food network, thanks.
We are here because we have “issues” with food. We don’t need to have the prurient interest served in this regard. Many of us can’t take it!
Honesty is essential for success. We first learn honesty by being accountable to one another. And getting some ugly feedback sometimes.
Get over it.
It’s not personal. And if it helps you rethink your choices, or even realize that YOU HAVE A CHOICE, then it’s a good thing!
Ultimately, what it comes down to is this: if you are not honest about what’s REALLY going in your mouth, the scale will be honest.
Rule 10: Be Honest With Yourself
Is anyone else starting to see how these rules intertwine? To me this one is like #8. No whining and no BS to yourself.
It’s hard to believe that this rule could be so hard! Of COURSE I’m honest with myself!
Really? Then how did I get to be overweight?
See what I mean?
So as I have gone through this journey, I am learning – that’s right, LEARNING – how to be honest with myself! That means tracking EVERYTHING!! Because, in case you didn’t notice – I sure did – the scale is always perfectly honest!
There are so many ways we are dishonest with ourselves: That little bite didn’t matter. One won’t hurt. I can stop whenever I want. If I just work out harder tomorrow. But my friend/relative will be disappointed if I don’t’ eat… And the all time favorite (along the lines of; "the check is in the mail!"); I’ll start my diet on Monday.
Malarkey.
Here’s a surprising benefit of being totally honest with yourself about what you are eating‐you are eating, and CAN eat, more than you think you can!
I personally believe that we are here, on the Out of Control board, because we are wired differently. And we have come together on this thread because we KNOW that we cannot keep lying to ourselves and have lasting weight loss. We are tired. We are weak. We are worn. And yet we still resist the concepts of honesty and accountability.
How is that working for you? I bet not so well. Just look at some of the people who have come and gone. Do you think they were being honest with themselves? Really?
We start by learning to be honest with others. The last part is learning to be honest with ourselves. It is the MOST DIFFICULT lesson to learn!! But it is the most precious and healthy thing that we can do for ourselves.
So quit with the lies, the BS, the nonsense. We don’t put up with them from you. Now YOU stop putting up with them from yourself.
It’s hard to believe that this rule could be so hard! Of COURSE I’m honest with myself!
Really? Then how did I get to be overweight?
See what I mean?
So as I have gone through this journey, I am learning – that’s right, LEARNING – how to be honest with myself! That means tracking EVERYTHING!! Because, in case you didn’t notice – I sure did – the scale is always perfectly honest!
There are so many ways we are dishonest with ourselves: That little bite didn’t matter. One won’t hurt. I can stop whenever I want. If I just work out harder tomorrow. But my friend/relative will be disappointed if I don’t’ eat… And the all time favorite (along the lines of; "the check is in the mail!"); I’ll start my diet on Monday.
Malarkey.
Here’s a surprising benefit of being totally honest with yourself about what you are eating‐you are eating, and CAN eat, more than you think you can!
I personally believe that we are here, on the Out of Control board, because we are wired differently. And we have come together on this thread because we KNOW that we cannot keep lying to ourselves and have lasting weight loss. We are tired. We are weak. We are worn. And yet we still resist the concepts of honesty and accountability.
How is that working for you? I bet not so well. Just look at some of the people who have come and gone. Do you think they were being honest with themselves? Really?
We start by learning to be honest with others. The last part is learning to be honest with ourselves. It is the MOST DIFFICULT lesson to learn!! But it is the most precious and healthy thing that we can do for ourselves.
So quit with the lies, the BS, the nonsense. We don’t put up with them from you. Now YOU stop putting up with them from yourself.
Rule 11: We Post Close up Face Pictures of Ourselves
This rule matters for several reasons.
First of all, it diminishes the possibility of pranksters disrupting the thread. You won’t get a lot of play here if your avatar is a cartoon. Or you don’t have one.
Secondly, we are PEOPLE! We have stories and feelings. You can’t be mean to someone with a face. Faces are PERSONAL! It is why I don’t like having family photos in my living room. Public spaces are not for personal things. And nothing is more personal than your face.
Yes, this is a public forum. Yes, we meet at the WW board. It’s not our “house”, per se. But we have made this thread our own. We should decorate it as we please, with our faces.
Third, it’s a big part of how we get to know each other! When we have met, as some of us have, it’s easy to tell who is who because we already know what we look like!
We are not here to make any political statements. Leave that stuff for facebook.
Lastly, we are beautiful! And we should not be hiding behind masks and cartoons.
There have been people who have not liked or followed this rule. That is part of the “Slippery Slope” mentality. You’re not doing one rule, pretty soon you’re not doing 2. And so on.
Show us your face!
First of all, it diminishes the possibility of pranksters disrupting the thread. You won’t get a lot of play here if your avatar is a cartoon. Or you don’t have one.
Secondly, we are PEOPLE! We have stories and feelings. You can’t be mean to someone with a face. Faces are PERSONAL! It is why I don’t like having family photos in my living room. Public spaces are not for personal things. And nothing is more personal than your face.
Yes, this is a public forum. Yes, we meet at the WW board. It’s not our “house”, per se. But we have made this thread our own. We should decorate it as we please, with our faces.
Third, it’s a big part of how we get to know each other! When we have met, as some of us have, it’s easy to tell who is who because we already know what we look like!
We are not here to make any political statements. Leave that stuff for facebook.
Lastly, we are beautiful! And we should not be hiding behind masks and cartoons.
There have been people who have not liked or followed this rule. That is part of the “Slippery Slope” mentality. You’re not doing one rule, pretty soon you’re not doing 2. And so on.
Show us your face!
Rule 12: We Do Not Respond to Anonymous Posters or Criticism
I am the world’s worst liar. :P So I’m not going to lie now.
When I had a WHOP episode that I felt compelled to share with you, I was flattered to have gotten a few non-SOPER posts of support. That meant a lot to me. =)
That is not usually the case with non-SOPER posters.
When people post anonymously on our thread, MOST of the time they are trying to “stir the pot”. We are struggling with our own weight and stories and issues. Something like that is a diversion. And may even derail you! It is always best to IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE!
Anonymous posters GENERALLY are critical of us, our strict rules, our success. They look to what they perceive as the “weakest link” and attack.
THE ANONYMOUS POSTER LACKS CREDIBILITY WITH OUR GROUP! They don’t know us. We don’t know them. We don’t know their motives or their meaning. In the past we have been attacked for the anonymous poster’s weaknesses. If someone in our group shares that same weakness, they will attack us (and that person specifically!) for it!
The whole key to the success of this group is ACCOUNTABILITY AND HONESTY. You read what I have to say and regard it seriously because I am known. I have shared. I have PROVEN that SOP works. I have EARNED that regard by posting daily, following the rules as best I can, and BEING HONEST WITH YOU!!
Anyone who doesn’t do those things for you doesn’t deserve the precious resource of your time and attention.
When I had a WHOP episode that I felt compelled to share with you, I was flattered to have gotten a few non-SOPER posts of support. That meant a lot to me. =)
That is not usually the case with non-SOPER posters.
When people post anonymously on our thread, MOST of the time they are trying to “stir the pot”. We are struggling with our own weight and stories and issues. Something like that is a diversion. And may even derail you! It is always best to IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE!
Anonymous posters GENERALLY are critical of us, our strict rules, our success. They look to what they perceive as the “weakest link” and attack.
THE ANONYMOUS POSTER LACKS CREDIBILITY WITH OUR GROUP! They don’t know us. We don’t know them. We don’t know their motives or their meaning. In the past we have been attacked for the anonymous poster’s weaknesses. If someone in our group shares that same weakness, they will attack us (and that person specifically!) for it!
The whole key to the success of this group is ACCOUNTABILITY AND HONESTY. You read what I have to say and regard it seriously because I am known. I have shared. I have PROVEN that SOP works. I have EARNED that regard by posting daily, following the rules as best I can, and BEING HONEST WITH YOU!!
Anyone who doesn’t do those things for you doesn’t deserve the precious resource of your time and attention.